10 Of The Most Common Sexual Fantasies


1. Multiple partners

Common to 87% of women and 95% of men, a lot of Americans daydream about threesomes and more. For some, this situation involves mostly the swapping of partners and orgies while a considerable number of people are focused on having sex with many partners. Group sex is the number one arousal cause for most Americans.



Shifting the power dynamics can be quite revitalizing for those who are in a position of control all day. Restraints, hot wax, spanking, and biting are the most popular. 96% of women and 93% of men are open to it. As Laura Berman, a sex expert and author of Loving Sex: The Book of Joy and Passion puts it: “It can be tiresome to always feel like the pursuer.”


3. Sexual novelty and adventure

A long-term relationship can get boring. No wonder so many people secretly dream of having sex with someone other than their life partner. Not only do they fantasize about a different partner, but many of them also dream of experiences they do not get to enjoy in real life: it ranges from simple fellatio or cunnilingus to having sex in unconventional places.

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4. Taboo/forbidden sex

There’s nothing more tempting than the forbidden fruit. The adrenaline rush that comes along drives so many people. 60% of the participants revealed that voyeurism is one of their major fantasies. People want to see others being intimate, or they might also want others to witness them engaging in sexual activity. This also includes fetishes for feet or wearing women’s underwear.

5. Open relationships

Next, we have those who wish to open up to new partners. Experiencing new things, but without forgetting their longtime partner. Many also dream of watching their partner having sex with someone else. Open relationships, polyamorous situations, and swinging couples are more and more of a “thing”. As long as the structure is healthy and happy, there is no harm to it.

6. Passion and romance

As strange as this might sound, many people crave some romance, something they don’t get to experience in their everyday life. Lots of men and women may long for some care and affection by someone other than their partner, a former bf/gf, or a colleague. This is common to more than half of the participants. Romantic gestures are proof of the emotional investment of the partners.

7. Flexibility, homoeroticism, gender-bending

This has to do with lesbian/gay/bisexual liaisons, sex with transgender individuals or becoming transgender. This is less common, and it is mostly linked to female fantasies (59%) than males (26%). People want to fully explore their hidden tendencies. They might also want their partner to try out something new in this respect. It allows us to reveal the most hidden part of ourselves.

8. Oral sex

A lot of men crave this, especially if their partner doesn’t typically perform it in real life. Dr. Schwartz and her colleagues researched 100,000 adults about their marriages, and this came up a lot. For women, this is often the only way for them to experience an orgasm. They can also explore their sexuality with another woman through this.

9. Exhibitionism

Wanting to have sex in public places is most of the time driven by some exhibitionist tendencies. Not only do some people want to give in to their voyeur urges, but they also want to be seen. Sometimes, it might be simply liking the idea of being naked in front of specific people, without going to the extreme of actually being an exhibitionist.

10. Role playing: Dressing up and acting outs

In the safety of our bedrooms and for our partner, we can be anything, literally, through dress-ups. You could be a nurse, a police officer, a student, or a boss, depending on your partner’s moods and needs. It can be a safe way to give a chance to fantasies that might otherwise be illegal.